freewrite week 4 day 1

There are so many trials with having kids.  I worked in a daycare right out of high school and thought it was so easy.  It wasn’t till I brought my son home for the first time that I realized the world of a parent is very different than just being a care provider for a child.  Every year I learn something new from them.  I get a little sad that I wish I could do so much for them.  My mom was so awesome I had a special baby book with all my information from when I was born up until my second birthday.  I on the other hand have not been so productive for my kids.  I do have a million pictures and I can tell stories with them.  But I get a little fussy on details now.  They were both born around the same time of the day and weighed around the same weight.  More than likely baby number three is going to be the same way and I will have one more that will dilute my memory.  It’s hard to remember when they sat up or got teeth or lost them.  Its times like those I wish I had my mother’s memory for every little detail about how I grew up.  I would like to say that having a third is going to kick my but in gear to write more things down and remember more but someday it’s just about getting through the day without blood and tears.  I shoot for more smiles and giggles.  I do strive for my kids to be loved equally.  The way I grew up was a little unbalanced towards my younger sister.  I don’t want my kids to feel that way.  It just causes pain and resentment.  This usually grows to needing therapy as adults to why your parents loved your sister more than you.  That is a whole other topic.