freewrite week 4 day 4

I really enjoyed the essay Shame in our books.  I don’t know about anyone else but I have memories that when I think of them make me uncomfortable and just as embarrassed as the day it happened.  There was a time I went with a friend to a church thing on a Wednesday night and the pastor brought up some topic about things that are out of date or not so cool.  A guy in front a few rows in front of me said jean jackets.  Sadly I had borrowed my mom’s jean jacket that night and felt so out of place just from that comment.  I look back and think about things I said that were very naive and so stupid.  I was in fifth grade and a friend was hanging out at my house and a boy had come over and was talking to her and for some reason the conversation veered into me saying something stupid like “well you just want to kiss her” call it to many TGIF or movies that made my perception of how kids acted or didn’t act.  I remember going into high school being not just scared but terrified.  I just think about silly things on movies where people were bullied or shoved in lockers.  We even heard rumors the first week about freshman hell week.  Of course nothing happened but that didn’t mean I wasn’t terrified that the scene from Carrie wouldn’t be reenacted for the upper classmen’s enjoyment.  Looking back all of it is so silly but it still has a lot of the same emotions attached to it just like the day it happened.  How silly is that.  Wisdom would have been nice at an early age.  And realizing the real world is nothing like boy meets girl or full house.  Maybe that’s why I gravitate to reality shows now.  I wish they had been around when I was growing up to show me not to be scared or embarrassed unless it was really necessary.  Would that have stopped me probably not.  The world has changed and it’s even harder for adolescent kids.  They almost grow up to fast and have no naive stage in their lives.