freewrite week 6 day 7

My last blog of the week finds me oblivious to any real ideas to write about.  So in the absence of idea I’m choosing to write about a clear head.  I’m one of those people whose mind seems to be continuously on.  I would give anything for an off switch sometimes.  It’s my worst enemy in the middle of the night.  I’m fine if I wake up and try hard not to think about anything I can usually go back to sleep.  If a single thought comes in my head it’s all over.  I then spend hours with my brain rattling on and on about what I need to do the next day, did I forget to lock the doors, did I just hear the baby and so on and so forth.  This usually goes into hyper drive during the day.  I wish for the clearness of just nothing.  I think this is why I enjoy books and movies because I can get lost in it without thinking about anything else.  I can actually be so engrossed when watching a movie that it’s one of the rare times I don’t think about anything else.  Even though I have so many thoughts going through my head it doesn’t make it any easier to think of things to write about.  Eventually I feel like I’m just blabbing about nothing important.  I think having a clear mind would be more helpful.  I’m great at multitasking but I feel my head is full of tasks flying at me all the time.  It would be nice with a clear head to have one thing at a time be the focus in my head.  I know it would save my anxiety level if I didn’t worry about all the things my brain is telling me to do.  It takes great work for me to have peace of mind in the head.  Usually I have to be outside and quite.  I think trying to meditate would kill my head.  It makes me laugh with the thought of trying to shut my thoughts off.  I’ve comes to terms with my unclear mind but it doesn’t mean I don’t long for peace and clarity.